I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize