Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
