so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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