At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
