Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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