I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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