I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
