but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
