The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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