gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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