I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
