I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
