I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
please come you make the beer taste better
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
