Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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