He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
