i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
