Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
