Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
