So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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