I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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