can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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