Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
