dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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