It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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