yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Boobs speak an international language.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
