so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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