I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
