Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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