So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
