chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
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