I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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