His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
