Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
