I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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