Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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