Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
