this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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