So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
