it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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