then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
