you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
