he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
