you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
