I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
