come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
