we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
