My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
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There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
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Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize