Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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