great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize