Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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