remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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