careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
