margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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