Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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