The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
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