Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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