please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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