Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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