the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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