I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
