see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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